


Not quite to plan

by Aloe_kun



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkwardness, Books, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-typical shenanigans, Confusion, Feelings, First Meetings, Gen, Knives, Lollipops, Medical Procedures, Minor Injuries, Reading, Shippy if you Squint, Sneaking Around, Spying, What kind of feelings? Who knows?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-17 06:13:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18959515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aloe_kun/pseuds/Aloe_kun
Summary: The new Medic for the BLU team has no idea how deadly and efficient the RED Spy is. Said spy sets out to remedy that, but fails miserably and awkwardly.





	Not quite to plan

When he'd first heard that the BLU team had gotten themselves a new Medic, the first thing that the RED Spy had thought was something along the lines of "Thank god." or to translate more accurately "Dieu merci.". Both teams had harboured a heavy dislike for the old, more than insane Medic, though RED reasonably hated him more. Being told that a new Medic had taken his place was simply music to his ears.

The second, was that the new Medic wouldn't know how deadly efficient he was. And of course, the pride he took in his work wouldn't allow him to wait until the next match to show him that he was to be feared. No, it simply wouldn't do to have him underestimating him right off the bat. Maybe it was nassarcistic of him, but in the end he didn't really care about that. What he wanted was for the Medic to fear his stealth and ability just as much as the rest of the BLU team. He decided that he would take the time outside of a match to show him just how much he should fear the RED team, especially him. He would go to him during downtime, when he would be least expecting it, and then strike. Just to show him that he could kill him anytime, anywhere. That would be sure to rattle him, no matter how cool headed he was.

This, however, did not go entirely to plan.

Even just getting out of the base that day had been challenging. There seemed to constantly be someone trying to distract him from what he needed to do, whether it was the Scout with his typical shenanigans or literally bumping into the Heavy and being knocked flat on his ass, along with having the sandvitch Heavy was holding dropped on him. Albeit the Russian didn't intend to distract him but it was still annoying and a waste of time, as he had to go back to his quarters and change out of his mustard dirtied suit. After all, first impressions were exceedingly important. Especially when it came to intimidation. The Demoman seemed to notice the effort put into his appearance and called over to ask if he was going on a date, and if he needed a wingman. Spy scoffed at the notion and left without answering him.

Sneaking in was fairly easy once he actually got out of his own base. The BLU's Sniper seemed, unusually, to be absent from his tower, meaning that he wouldn't have even had to use his invisibility watch to get past. All the same, he used it. Just as a precaution. He didn't plan to kill the Medic right away; he decided that he would observe him first, to see if he could find anything shocking or scandalous he could use to his advantage.

Hidden away in the disguise of a potted plant in the corner of the BLU medical bay he sat and waited for the Medic to come in from the tiny side office. The disguise wouldn't have worked in the RED base, their bay was deadly enough for people, let alone plants. But there seemed to be a few dotted around the room, and since the man had only been around for a little while so far the Spy doubted he would immediately notice any difference in scenery. He sat and waited, watching the door that he was certain that the Medic was behind.

Some time later, when he was beginning to consider just waltzing in and killing him then, the door swug open and two figures stepped out. First, the BLU Medic. He paused a moment to take in what he looked like. He was certainly shorter than he remembered the previous Medic to be, with a generally less angular and intimidating look about him. He didn't look suited for working in the battlefield. Hell, he looked like he should be working in a children's ward or something with that smile.

The figure that followed him was that of the BLU Sniper. So _that_ was where he had been.

"Thank you for helping me with all that, herr Sniper." The Medic chimed as he held the door open for the other, who smiled at him and tipped his hat.

"S'not a problem, mate." The Sniper put his hands in his pockets. "Glad I could help."

Spy raised an eyebrow. What were they talking about?

"I must say, your handwriting is very neat. If you vould excuse me for saying this, it's much tidier than I expected."

"Really? Never thought it was great myself. Though I guess I don't do much paperwork, so I don't really see my own writing that much..."

"You're velcome to come and help me again if you like!" The Medic laughed a little. "The papervork goes a lot faster with two of us on it."

Ah, it was just paperwork. Nothing that interesting. Though it did tell him that the new Medic was a bit of a paper pusher. Very few people on either team were good at paperwork, so that would make him quite a valuable addition to BLU. It surprised him that the Sniper was good at it, though.

"Ah might drop by again sometime." The Sniper soon headed to the door that lead outside, opening it up. "See ya around, doc."

"Tschüss!"

With that the Sniper left, presumably to return to his post, leaving him alone with the Medic. With the Sniper at his nest again that would make his escape just a little harder, but it wouldn't matter much. He could've killed him right then, if he wanted. And he should have wanted to. But instead he found himself inclined to observe. As he watched he confirmed his suspicion that he was shorter than the last Medic; a glowing sign was how he had to go on tiptoe to reach some of the cupboards. From the few times he'd had the chance to observe the last Medic in this way, he knew that they had been at a perfect height for him.

Not much happened for a while. The Medic had come quite close to him a few times, but hadn't noticed that the potted plant wasn't quite as it seemed. He just watched as the man sort of pottered about the bay, tidying up and cleaning equipment, humming a tune that Spy couldn't recognise.

It startled the hell out of him when a loud knock sounded on the door, but it didn't seem to phase the Medic. He smiled and turned to the door, opening it and taking a step back.

"Oh my, Scout!" He exclaimed. "What happened to you?"

The Scout sort of half walked, half limped into the bay. Spy could easily tell that he had been hurt somehow from the scuffs on his clothes and the multiple bruises and cuts all over him. He seemed to be sniffling a little. The Demoman and Soldier followed him in, looking a little worse for wear but not as bad, and also looking a little guilty.

"You two as well?" The Medic looked increasingly concerned. "What on earth have you been up to?"

"Uh..."

"Well..."

He turned his attention to Scout as he waited for an answer, ushering him over to a dentist chair-esque chair in the middle of the room. "There there, sit down now." He cooed soothingly. "I'll fix you up."

"...Aye, we were messin' about wi some af the extra explosives we got." Demo admitted finally.

The Spy almost laughed. Such typical stupidity from the BLU team. He was expecting the Medic to react as their own would, and severely berate them at the very best.

He was surprised when the Medic merely sighed. "I thought that might be the case, seeing as you two were involved."

The two looked meekly at the ground while the Medic looked around for a few things; antiseptic, bandaids, wetwipes, and a small box that the Spy couldn't identify. He set them down on a small table and pulled a wetwipe out of the packet to begin gently dabbing away the dirt from the Scout's face.

"Well, go on." He looked over his shoulder at the pair. "Sit down somewhere and tell me what happened."

The two sat to the side, briefly conferred and then the Soldier spoke up.

"We were by those uh... Shallow sorta cliffs, an' we were tryna launch Scout. Since he's the lightest."

"And it didn't go very well, did it?"

The Scot piped up. "Well, _t_ _echnically_  it did work. It jus didnae go how it was meant tae."

"He went more sideways than we reckoned he would." The Soldier rubbed the back of his neck. "And there was a bigger boom than we bargained for."

"Ah think it was a perfectly reasonable boom!"

The scout sat up a little. "Hey, I went _flyin_!"

"Laddie, that was the point of-"

"Now now, you three." The Medic interjected before they could start arguing. "So Scout must have ended up sprawling, is zhat correct?"

"...Yeah."

"Aye, that's pretty much it."

Having cleaned his face, the Medic put the wipes he had used in the bin and opened a tube of antiseptic cream to put on the various cuts and scrapes on the Scout's face. Spy recognised the brand, and winced. He knew for a fact that it would sting. He was right, of course, and the Scout squirmed a little while the Medic applied it.

"Ow, doc, that stings..." He whined.

"I know, but you'll just have to tough it out." The Medic chuckled slightly. "You're tough, aren't you?"

"Yeah! 'Course I am!"

"Good."

The Scout stayed determinedly still for the remaining time the Medic needed to go through the same cleaning and applying of cream to his arms and everywhere else he'd been hurt, though obviously relaxed when the tube of cream was put to the side. The BLU Medic smiled and opened up the packet of bandaids, beginning to put them wherever they were needed.

"Now, don't go picking at zhese, Scout." The Medic instructed. "I know vhat you're like."

"I'm not that bad..." He mumbled.

"Mm, sure. There, you're all sorted now."

He gave the Scout a pat on the back as he sat up and scooted out of the chair, then looked over his shoulder.

"Come on then. Who's next?"

The other two did a lot less squirming, as Spy would have expected, and since they weren't the one who went flying they had less scrapes to deal with as well. Soon enough they were both sorted as well, and all three were standing awkwardly together at the side.

"Now, you three. Be more careful next time, alright?"

Spy was about as surprised as they were that that was all the reprimanding they were going to get. Of course, the request was met with a round of agreements, to which Medic responded by smiling and picking up the box he hadn't recognised, opening it, and offering it to the trio.

"Good. Now, since you were so co-operative, you can take one of zhese before you go."

The BLU Scout seemed the most excited about this and immediately took what looked to be a blue lollipop from the box, unwrapping it and quickly putting it in his mouth, then giving a muffled "Woo, thanks!" before heading out the door. The other two, not wanting to be left behind, quickly took their own, leaving with a quick "Aye, thanks Doc!" And "T'ank ya, cupcake!" Before heading out as well, hurrying to catch up with him.

The Medic watched them go, and then sighed to himself with a smile. "They'll be back."

The Spy couldn't quite believe how soft this Medic was on his teammates. Not only that, but his patience was astounding. Had that same scenario played out in the RED base... It would have been quite a different story. One most likely entailing three separate trips to spawn.

It was beginning to seem like it would be impossible to get any form of dirt or blackmail material on this BLU, but he still watched as he set about putting away the items he'd taken out to fix up the trio. Once that was done the Medic looked around for anything else that needed doing at the moment. When he seemed to find nothing of immediate importance, he reached up to one of those just a little too high shelves and picked up a small book, a medical journal from what the Spy could tell. He leant against the counter, and began to thumb through it. He was facing away from him. It would be a perfect time to strike, while he was distracted and not paying attention to his surroundings.

He was just about to uncloak when the door opened and he froze again. The Medic shut his book and put it to the side, smiling at the appearance of the BLU Engineer, who had some rolled up papers under his arm.

"Heya, Doc." The Texan greeted. "You busy?"

"Not at all! Are those the blueprints you were talking about?"

"Yep. I wanted a second opinion on 'em. Could ya take a look?"

"I'd love to." He stood up straight to let the Engineer access the counter and spread the papers out. The Medic leant over them to look at them with great interest. "These were those upgrades you wanted to try on your hand, right?"

"Yeah, that's right. Whaddya think?" He leant over them too. "Should make it a lot more precise."

"It seems all fine to me..." The Medic hummed in thought. "Though I'm just looking at this bit here."

He tapped a point that the Spy couldn't see from his vantage point. He thought about getting up and looking, but with the both of them leant over the blueprints he figured he wouldn't be able to see very much.

"What about it?"

"Wouldn't that wire need to be a little longer? The length it is there, it could snap when you flex your hand."

The Engineering squinted for a moment, then nodded. "Yeah, yer absolutely right. Well spotted. The one next to it looks a little off, too..."

"Would you like a pen to change it?"

"Yeah, please."

The Spy held his breath as the Medic came extremely close to him, picking up a couple of pens from just above him. He soon returned to the Engineer's side and handed them to him, bumping shoulders.

"Here."

"Thanks, partner."

After a brief moment of pen scratching on paper, the mistake was fixed.

"I must say, aside from zheir practical purposes, your blueprints look very nice."

"Whaddya mean by that, doc?" The Engineer gave him a slightly quizzical look.

"I mean they are... Aesthetically pleasing. Zhey look very clean and professional. It wouldn't be impossible to picture them framed on a wall."

"Aw, shucks...Thanks." He chuckled. "But my chickenscratch handwriting isn't that nice to look at."

"I vould disagree! It has a lot of character."

"Ah, ya don't have to butter me up like that..."

"I'm not! It iz quite true."

From his vantage point the Spy could see the Engineer rub the back of his neck sheepishly. "Well, if ya say so. But in any case, thanks for helpin' me look em over."

He rolled the papers back up and tucked them under his arm as he stood up straight. For a moment it seemed like he looked right at the Spy, and his heart stuttered- but then he turned away and headed for the door. He had to make sure he didn't sigh in relief too loudly.

"See ya around, pal."

The medic smiled. "Take care, freund!"

Just like that, he was alone with the Medic again, who seemed to be idly clearing things away and organising loose bits and pieces into boxes and cabinets. It seemed that he was packing up for the day. From what the Spy could see from his position through the high windows he could tell it was beginning to get late from the deep orange light. He nearly missed it when the Medic headed to the door. He undisguised himself for just a tiny moment while his back was turned, cloaking himself instead, and then slipped out of the door in front of him when he opened it. He watched silently as he shut and locked the door to the bay behind him and put the keys under a fake plant to the left.

Yes, he'd follow him to his quarters and _then_ he would strike. Nothing could be more rattling than being killed in your own personal space, surely.

The spy tailed him as he walked to his room and was somewhat surprised at how friendly he was to the team members he passed on the way, smiling and waving and oh so politely turning down the Demoman's invitation to drink until dawn. He slipped into his quarters behind him and pressed his back to the wall next to the door, waiting for the right moment to strike. He noticed that there were a deal of carboard boxes about the room and there wasn't much on the shelves; it seemed that he hadn't the time to unpack properly just yet.

He watched as the Medic disappeared briefly into a seemingly tiny room off to the side, and was beginning to consider following him in when he emerged, no longer in his uniform but a loose white t-shirt and similarly loose blue sweatpants. It seemed that he must have changed in that room, and the Spy silently thanked himself for not choosing then to strike. After all, killing him half naked or something would be simply unprofessional.

The Medic had picked a book up off the bedside table and was sitting cross legged on the bed, facing away from him, leafing through it slowly. It looked to be some kind of medical journal, but that hardly mattered.

Now would be perfect.

He crept forward, uncloaking with knife in hand. Now would be the time he showed the Medic exactly why he should watch his back. He raised his arm when he reached striking distance, poised to strike when a resounding creak came from the floorboards under his feet. He froze as the Medic quickly turned around wide eyed, book falling to the floor. He cursed under his breath. What now?

They stayed in their respective positions for a length of time neither were particularly inclined to count, staring. Then, to the Spy's surprise the tension in the BLU's shoulders dissapated and he smiled tiredly.

"I suppose you're here to kill me then, ja?" He asked. The Spy stayed silent. "Sniper did warn me zhat you might come, but I hadn't expected you so soon..."

The Medic leant down and picked his book up from the floor, placing it back on the bedside table with his bookmark on top -he'd lost his place- and turning his attention back to the Spy.

"Vell... Zhere isn't much I can do to stop you. But might I ask a favour?"

"...What?" Said the Spy, not so much asking what the favour was than questioning the entire situation.

"If you are to kill me, could you please do it quietly?" He looked over his shoulder and smiled slightly. "My teammates are likely very tired, zhey have all been very busy today. I would hate to disturb them."

The Spy wasn't entirely sure what the fuck he was supposed to do. Of all the ways he had thought this self assigned mission would go, having the Medic willingly submit himself for killing hadn't even crossed his mind. And all so he wouldn't disturb his team? It kind of felt wrong to kill him now he had said that. He didn't even seem that bad, certainly not as bad as the previous BLU Medic; what he'd seen of him gave him the impression that he was really quite nice.

Oblivious to the Spy's internal confusion, the Medic continued. "I doubt I would be able to not make any noise when you stab me... Perhaps you should put a hand over my mouth, or-"

"Wait. Stop, just...stop for a moment."

"But-"

"Arrêt. Just stop. What?" Even with most of his face covered, the Spy was quite clearly flabbergasted. "No 'no wait, please don't!' or anything? No struggle? You're just going to let me kill you?"

"Well, I wouldn't want to cause a fuss and wake my team." The Medic reasoned.

"Wh- look." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I came to kill you on the assumption that you would be as arrogant and horrible as the last Medic on this stupid team."

"...And?"

"You're just..." The spy threw his hands up. "Nice! You've been nothing but nice! So I'm not feeling so inclined to kill you, and that annoys me. _Greatly_."

He put his knife away, sighing. He just couldn't do it. On the battlefield he'd have no problems, but in this context? It would be impossible to without it coming back to haunt what little of a conscience he had.

"If you are not going to kill me, what _are_ you going to do?" The Medic asked.

The Spy hadn't thought that far. "...um."

"Vould you like me to just pretend you never came here?"

The Spy thought about it for a moment. He certainly wouldn't be killing him today, and he would love nothing more than to pretend this hadn't happened himself, and save himself the embarrassment of knowing that he had been unable to kill his target just because he had been sweet.

"...Oiu. Merci."

He cloaked and backed away, slipping out the door. The Medic smiled and watched the door shut, and then picked his book up and began trying to find his place.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Haha I swear I'll post more frequently now 
> 
> In case anyone is curious, the chronological order if these fics with the BLU Medic is:
> 
> Not quite to plan  
> Alternative medicine  
> Bite down, hard  
> How could I forget?
> 
> This took me way too long TwT


End file.
